Heaven Only Knows
by allthatglitters
Summary: Years ago, Theresa became pregnant with Ethan's child. Knowing she couldn't keep Ethan, she lied when she told him she lost the baby, and she left Harmony. Now, after she reads about the birth of Ethan and Gwen's first son, Theresa decides it's time Et
1. Default Chapter

The paper crinkled slightly in her hand, a small tear landing on the pages and making the  
cheap black ink run. She ran her fingers over the child's picture... a little boy, his wrinkly  
skin shaded pink and his eyes squinted shut. He was so tiny, having been born  
prematurely and spending days in and out of the hospital. But he had finally made it  
home, and his birth announced all across the east coast: the son of Ethan Crane.  
  
Theresa looked across the hall into the nursery of her own little girl, asleep in her tiny bed,  
blonde ringlets framing her face and spreading askew on the pillow. Aside from the  
golden hair, she looked like a miniature version of Theresa: same colored skin, same  
mouth... well, maybe not her eyes. Her gorgeous eyes, and her hair, had been inherited  
from her father, who never even knew this child existed. A father who thought he was  
celebrating the birth of his first child... his son.  
  
"Oh, Ethan," Theresa sighed, leaning against the door frame, "If you only knew..."  
  
.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.  
  
Ethan Crane leaned over the bassinet, straining to hear the faint breathing of his son who  
slept soundly beneath him. After Ryan's premature birth, Ethan had been on edge, going  
out of his mind. He was constantly worried, entering the nursery several times an hour to  
check up on the sleeping infant.  
  
"Ethan, you really needn't worry so much," his wife said, entering the room and wrapping  
her arms around his back.  
  
"I can't help it, Gwen," he replied, slipping his hand into hers, "I just... I don't know... He  
looks so helpless. And so tiny."  
  
"The doctors, who, might I add, are the finest in the country, have assured us that  
everything is going to be perfectly fine with Ryan. Yes, he was born early, but he's  
getting bigger by the minute, and he eats everything we feed him. Don't worry so  
much."  
  
.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.  
  
"I lost the baby," she lied, sitting on the park bench and placing a hand on her  
stomach.  
  
"You lost the baby? But... how?" Ethan asked, sitting next to her. She was silent.   
"What's wrong, Theresa? What happened? Why didn't you tell me right away?"  
  
"I just couldn't, Ethan. I mean, the doctors said it might have been stress related... or  
maybe because I was sick those first few days. But you have to move on, Ethan. You're  
still engaged to Gwen. You'll be able to have plenty of children with her."  
  
"What are you saying?"  
  
"What I'm saying is... I'm leaving Harmony," Theresa choked out, not believing she was  
actually carrying through with her plan, "I've got to. I can't stay here. Especially not  
with you around. Luis is ready to kill you, anyway. For getting me into this situation, first  
off... and then you weren't there in the hospital..."  
  
"But I didn't know!"  
  
"That's what I told him, but he's still furious with you," Theresa tried to soothe him, "And  
Mama's not happy with me at all right now, Miguel doesn't even have words to say  
anything to me... Whitney is in disbelief... And you are being forced to marry Gwen. I  
have no one."  
  
"You have me."  
  
"Not for long," Theresa replied, a tear staining her cheek, "Maybe someday I'll come  
back, when you've forgotten about me and are happily married to Gwen. Maybe we can  
still be friends when that day arrives."  
  
"I love you, Theresa..."  
  
.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.  
  
"Ethan, are you all right?" Gwen interrupted his thoughts, bringing him out of his silent  
reverie.  
  
"Oh, Gwen... Yes, I'm fine. I just don't want to lose my child." i "Again,"/i he  
added in his thoughts. 


	2. Heaven Only Knows Chapter Two

Miguel leaned back in the recliner, happy to relax after a long day of hard labor. It was completely worth it, however, to see his new little home take shape so soon after acquiring it, he was happy to do anything he could to make it look like the house he grew up in... a place he could share with his wife...  
A knock sounded on the wooden door, and then the bell rang repeatedly. "Honey?" he called after his wife in the kitchen, "Are you expecting someone?"  
  
"No," replied a female voice, "See who it is."  
  
Miguel grunted as he stood from his seat, finally noticing that his shirt was practically soaked in mud and sweat. He tried to wipe some of the dirt from his face as he opened the door, and gasped in surprise.  
  
"THERESA?!"  
  
"Hey, little brother," Theresa smiled radiantly, seeing Miguel for the first time in two years. Of course, they had written and exchanged pictures. She refused to attend the wedding of Miguel and his wife for the mere fact that meant returning to Harmony and she might run into Ethan. She just decided that it was finally time to tell the truth...  
  
"Hi, Uncle Miguel!" Elizabeth Lopez-Fitzgerald waved a little palm up to Theresa's brother shyly.  
  
"Is that Lizzy?" he asked Theresa, who nodded, "Wow, she's gotten big. Even bigger than from the last photos you sent."  
  
"She's growing so quickly, I don't know what to do with myself."  
  
"Theresa? Is that you?" Miguel's wife asked, exiting the kitchen and standing still in the center of the foyer.  
  
"Jessica!" Theresa exclaimed, running over to her sister-in-law, the former Jessica Bennet (much to the chagrin of Kay), and wrapped her up in a hug, "Oh, it's so good to see you. Come here, Lizzy, and give your aunt a hug!"  
  
Elizabeth stalled for a few moments, her index finger wedged between her lips, until she remembered exactly who Aunt Jessica was and ran to her side. Jessica picked her up in mock pain ("My, Theresa, she's gotten so big!") and smothered her in kisses.  
  
"So what brings you back to Harmony?" Miguel asked, offering his sister a seat on the over-stuffed floral couch. Theresa wondered whatever happened to the teenaged boy she had last seen in person as she looked at the man and husband before her, Jessica happily playing the role of a mother to Lizzy who was begging for something to eat.  
  
"Well, I was reading the paper the other day, and-"  
  
"No, Theresa," Miguel sighed, sitting in a chair opposite her, "Please, please don't tell me you're here to see Ethan and his son. Luis is going to do backflips if that's why you came to visit, and he'll probably kill Ethan, as well."  
  
"Yes, and I know he doesn't need that kind of stress in his life now that he and Sheridan have lost the baby..." Theresa trailed off, remembering her older brother's excited phone call telling her Sheridan was pregnant; and the call a few months later to tell her the baby didn't survive full term... "But Ethan needs to be told. He has a daughter, Miguel. A gorgeous daughter. You can't look at her and deny she's Ethan's child. When was the last time you saw a Lopez-Fitzgerald with curly blonde hair?"  
  
"But Ethan and Gwen have been happily married for the past six years. I mean, of course there was turbulence after you left. He called our house every day looking for you."  
  
"We were in love."  
  
"Yes. Were. Now he's celebrating the birth of his son," Miguel took Theresa's hand in his and looked into her eyes, making a feeble attempt to discourage her, "Look, Theresa. He is in his glory right now. He's a proud father. Let him enjoy it with his wife."  
  
"Exactly, Miguel. And he shall be an even prouder father when he discovers he has a daughter... with the woman he should have married all those years ago."  
  
Jessica re-entered the room, holding Elizabeth by the hand. "Your daughter sure drinks an awful lot, there, Theresa. I don't know how you keep anything edible in your kitchen at home."  
  
"It's a challenging task," Theresa laughed, as Elizabeth hopped up onto her lap.  
  
"So, are you going to visit Luis at all on your stay here?" Jessica asked, "It would really brighten his day, you know. He really wished you would have been here these past few months."  
  
"I think I'll go visit him right now, if that's all right with you," Theresa replied, setting Lizzy down and standing up, "I just wanted to drop in and say hello, which I've done."  
  
"Well, please come back any time," Jessica invited, a bright smile on her face that reminded Theresa a little bit of Kay in one of her sweeter moments, which was quite a rare occasion "back in the day."  
  
"Oh, I will."  
  
"And remember what I said, Theresa," Miguel warned her, "Don't make another dumb mistake with Ethan Crane."  
  
"I hardly consider Lizzy a dumb mistake," Theresa angrily retorted, grabbing her daughter by the hand and storming from the house. 


	3. Heaven Only Knows Chapter Three

Sheridan held the gray-scaled picture at a distance, staring at the blur that was once her baby in the sonogram. She traced her finger along his outline, forcing herself not to tear up again. She almost felt as though this whole thing was her fault and, as a daily punishment, strained herself to look at her son's sonogram and think about everything that could have been.  
  
"You aren't looking at that picture again, are you?" Luis asked, sighing, as he entered their bedroom to find Sheridan at her dresser, a small line of mascara tumbling down her cheek. He rushed to her side, placing his hands on her shoulders and burying his face in the small of her neck. "It's all right. It's not your fault."  
  
"I never should have let Julian put me through so much stress... the constant fighting and bickering back and forth. It was so juvenile, and look at the price we both had to pay."  
  
"It's not your fault," Luis repeated himself, "But listen, I've got some good news that will cheer you up. That was Miguel on the phone, and he said that Theresa's back in town and plans to visit us next."  
  
"Oh, I hope she brought that sweet little girl of hers," Sheridan said, immediately perking up. Having shared long phone conversations with Theresa, and knowing the secret that genetically drew her close to Elizabeth, she and her sister-in-law had become very good friends, and Luis couldn't be happier that they were all getting along.  
  
"Yes, she brought Lizzy, too. Miguel says she looks completely different, but that's understandable. I mean, it has been two years."  
  
"Is she just here for a short visit?"  
  
"Well, that's where things get complicated." Luis slowed his speech and sat rigidly on the bed, "She saw the announcement of Ethan's son in the paper."  
  
"Oh, no, you don't mean-"  
  
"She thinks he ought to know the truth now. I don't know where her head is. She's twenty-three years old, you'd think she'd grow out of this childish fantasy."  
  
"They did have something, Luis," Sheridan had to admit to herself, "They were in love when Theresa got pregnant. You know she didn't want to tell him for fear he'd leave her. She thought it was her fault. I'd bet anything that he still loves her just as much today as he did then."  
  
"And what's gonna happen when he sees her, huh?" Luis asked, his mind spinning with all the possible calamities that could occur, "And with a kid, nevertheless... who LOOKS like him?!"  
  
"That's why she came to tell him, I guess," Sheridan replied, "But she can't possibly do it now. Ivy and Julian will surely be furious! And look how far Ethan and Gwen have come since they continued with the wedding plans... and now Ryan. Oh, Lord, will this chaos never end?"  
  
"We have to try and talk her out of it," Luis stated matter-of-factly, "I mean, you of all people know how glad I'll be to see my little sister again, but I don't think her being here is the best thing for the welfare of Harmony."  
  
"On the other hand, Ethan does deserve to know."  
  
Luis was silent. Whether it was in agreement, disagreement, or utter shock was unbeknownst to Sheridan until he spoke. "You can't be serious."  
  
"What?"  
  
"The Cranes are never going to stake a claim on my niece. It's bad enough she's already got their genes. But I'll be damned if she's ever raised as a member of that family."  
  
"LUIS!"  
  
"I mean it, Sheridan. If they want Elizabeth, they're gonna have to get through me, first."  
.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.  
  
Theresa lay in bed that night, staring up at ceiling. Luis and Sheridan were kind enough to offer her and Elizabeth a place to stay during her visit to Harmony, and Theresa wasn't about to refuse. Her budget was a tight as it could possibly be, and she didn't think she could even afford one night's stay at the B&B, whether or not she had an acquaintance with the owner.  
  
She couldn't stop thinking about what Luis had said earlier that night, and how wrong he was. "Ethan still loves me" she thought to herself, watching the shadows dancing on the walls and listening to her daughter's soft breathing beside her, "I know that as soon as he discovers we have a child together, he'll come back to me and leave Gwen in the dust. We can raise both Lizzy and Ryan together, for I'm sure Gwen will be in some sort of shock to where she could never watch an infant. We'll be the family we were always meant to me."  
.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.+.  
  
Ethan rolled over in his bed, away from Gwen's sleeping, glowing face. What they said about pregnant women or new mothers was true - there was something about them in the fact that they shown for some reason... just like Theresa did when she first told him she was pregnant. And she was so worried he'd leave her... but then they lost the child and she left town, never returning.  
  
Sometimes, late at night as it was now, he'd wonder what she looked like after six years. She'd always be the beautiful girl of seventeen as she was that summer when he first admitted his feelings for her and they began dating. The he'd imagine what their lives would be like if she had given birth to their child and they were living blissfully happy in a beautiful little country home, away from all this... this - crap - he had to put up with on a daily basis.  
  
He sometimes even wished he had married Theresa when he had the chance, and that Ryan was his son with the woman he truly loved... 


	4. Running Away

Ethan ran up and down the isles in the supermarket, looking for the specific type of formula Gwen had requested for their screaming child back at home. Normally, one of the servant would run out, but there just wasn't time. He had been coming home from a work-related meeting when Gwen called on the car phone saying that the baby needed formula and needed it immediately.  
  
He fingered through a few formulas before finding the one he needed, but then something caught his eyes. A young woman and a child standing behind him, facing away. The woman was looking at a box of cereal for a frantic little girl whom she was grasping firmly by the hand. "Shhh! Lizzy, mama's trying to read something!"  
  
"Theresa?"  
  
"Yes?" the woman turned around, "How can I- ETHAN?!" She dropped the box on the floor, which the little girl picked up and held closely to her chest. "Wha- wha- what are you doing here? At the supermarket?"  
  
He couldn't believe what he was seeing, and for a moment didn't answer until he realized she was talking to him. He held up the formula. "Um... baby," he managed to choke out. He looked down at the blonde haired girl next to Theresa. "Who's this?"  
  
"Oh... well... this is Elizabeth... my daughter. Well, actually..." She stopped herself, not wanting to reveal her secret in a forum like a grocery store. "Lizzy. We call her Lizzy."  
  
"That's a beautiful name," he said, looking intently at the little girl, who had begun inspecting a magical red box of Lucky Charms. "I had no idea you had gotten married."  
  
"I haven't," Theresa replied. "Lizzy is the best thing that's happened to me, though. Other than the year you and I were together... Back in the day."  
  
"Seems like yesterday," Ethan said, wanting to reach out and push a strand of hair behind her ears, while kissing her hello. "I'm surprised I never heard anything. I'd expect Sheridan to tell me something like that. Your family knows, don't they?"  
  
"Oh, of course," Theresa said, making sure Lizzy wasn't about to run away on them. There they were: one big, happy family for the first time in six years, and Ethan was clueless.  
  
"She... she looks a lot like-"  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Like you. With blonde hair, though.  
  
"You think so?" Theresa asked, staring him directly in the eye. "I always thought she looked like her daddy. I mean sure, she's got that famous Lopez-Fitzgerald temper and skin tone... But her curly blonde hair... blue eyes... Just like her daddy."  
  
Ethan noticed Theresa staring at him in an odd, loving way. "It can't be," he thought to himself, "She lost the baby years ago... But... Six years ago. Could she have lied to me? Impossible. It just can't be possible."  
  
"Ethan, maybe we should take this conversation elsewhere. There's something that I need to tell you. Something that could-"  
  
"I really need to get back home to Gwen," Ethan interrupted, deciding that he didn't want to know. His life with Gwen and their son was perfect, and this could be a catastrophe. He didn't want to go through that horrible phase of deciding which woman he loved more, for a second time, and her certainly didn't know what he would do if Lizzy was his daughter... His firstborn.  
  
"Oh... I... Of course, Ethan," Theresa said, disappointed. "But we really need to get together sometime. Catch up on everything we've been missing. I can tell you everything I've done since I left Harmony, and maybe your son and Lizzy can get together sometime. You know, get to know one another."  
  
"Yes. My son..." Ethan was in his own, confused little world, and was eagerly searching for an easy escape from this situation. "Anyway, I really need to get back to my wife and child." He emphasized "wife" and "child" to make the point clear that he didn't feel like discussing babies with Theresa anymore. "I hope you don't mistake me for being rude, but I only came out to... you know... emergency supplies."  
  
"Of course, of course. Well, the offer still stands. I'd love to get together sometime, Ethan. I've really missed you."  
  
"I'll give you a call sometime," Ethan said, backing away, "Gotta run."  
  
Theresa placed her hands on her hips, wondering what on earth had gotten into him. 


End file.
